Dear Georgia
I met someone at work and spend a lot of time with him; 2 years now. We are best friends so he tells me. He doesn't want anyone to know how close we are in fear of loosing his children. Yes he is still married but is unhappy with his life. Health money and some gambling and unfaithful wife. What should I do. Wait for them to decide to stay together or separate or just plainly change jobs and just stay distant friends. I really do like him a lot. He has met my children (older teens). My husband passed away three yrs ago. I am a Cancer 1966. He is a Gemini. I love his company. He makes me laugh. Its like being alive inside again and it saddens me when he leaves to go back with his family. Should I wait or should I walk away. My heart tells me to wait but my head tells me to walk. He tells me to have faith. What do the stars tell me?
Wondering....
Dear Wondering,
Boy, I can really relate to your words! And so can many others I am sure. When you see someone you really like -- and especially if the sex is great - and it's just play time - of course, it is faaabulous!
That's because it IS playtime. And playtime is fun. I am not suggesting this is unreal. It is real. But it's just playtime.
If you want a committed relationship which involves the challenges of sharing money, and dividing chores, and relating to each other's families, and sharing children - and so many other real life unromantic equations that enter the picture - then, I am pretty sure this is not the guy for you.
You know this yourself - I can tell by your words. You have suffered through the loss of your husband. You deserve some laughter and fun! So let it happen. Kick up your heels and enjoy yourself.
However, know this. You deserve even more. You can have the fun of a playmate, and a lover, and a friend as well as someone who is willing to commit to you and share life's responsibilities with you as well.
I doubt very much that this man will leave his marriage. And for that matter - is this the kind of man you want as a committed partner?
Continue to enjoy this relationship until you are ready to move on. (But do not kid yourself that he will leave his "cold wife".)
This friendship fills a need for you right now; and it is a useful experience for you. When you are ready to demand more for yourself - you will say good bye and move on.
My best to you...
Love
Georgia
